Thursday, October 24, 2013

How to keep her happy

All-round tips for keeping her (and therefore you) happy

How to keep her happy
Relationships are a classic good news/bad news scenario. The good news is that you don’t have to make grand romantic speeches in the rain like Ryan Gosling in that movie where his lover couldn’t be with him because of the… okay we never made it to the end either. Point is: once you’ve been together with someone for a while, you both know the difference between silverscreen romance and the business of making it work day after day, month after month, year after year. Which brings us to the bad news: you probably have to lift your game. But don’t hyperventilate just yet - little gestures have big significance. Some you need to do daily, some weekly, some monthly and some yearly – but all will keep your romance bubbling over and your partner happy.


In the ceaseless demand of the daily grind – work schedules, the fantasy football league, remembering what hell “smart-casual” means – it’s easy to gloss over your partner’s emotional needs. In fact, just the phrase “partner’s emotional needs” probably had your eyes rolling in your head like a sleepy narcoleptic. Relax tiger, all we are talking here is one compliment. But make like brushing your teeth and do it daily. It could be anything: her hair, her make-up, her latest initiative at work, that dish she made last night, how you really enjoyed something she recommended. The effort here is not in the saying but in the finding new things to make her feel good about. It will get easier with time but the appreciation will remain undiminished.


Put the thesaurus down Shakespeare. This one is more about doing than saying. Chances are you’ve arrived at some sort of equitable division of labour around the house. You stack and unload the dishwasher, she does the laundry. You take out the garbage, she makes the bed. You get the picture. Just once every seven days, do one of her jobs without making a big deal about it or even mentioning it. Believe us, she’ll notice.


Twelve times a year, you are going to have to make a financial investment in your relationship. Open your wallet, let the moth that’s been trapped in there since October fly away and buy her something. Again, it doesn’t matter what you spend, the power is in the token of the token gesture. It could be servo flowers in cellophane, a manicure voucher at the local shopping centre, dinner at a place she’s keen on but you’re wary of, some DVDs of her favourite classic films, some new lingerie (but for God’s sake get the size right) or even a new addition to whatever it is she collects.

That’s half a year right there and most of those ideas come in at between $50 and $100. It all comes back to proving with a pressie that you know her interests and passions as they stand today, as well as perhaps the degree to which she doesn’t treat herself when she more than deserves it.


If you’re over 40, the best gift you can give your partner every year is the fact that you’re still around. If you have any family history of chronic illness, a visit to the doc every 12 months is mandatory. Okay, sermon over.

For something that happens this infrequently, you want to go large and perhaps tie it into an event like a birthday or anniversary. The key element here is not extravagance but surprise. Go back to the places you went on your first date, whisk her away from work to a picnic you’ve prepared on the beach, contact a local music school and arrange for someone to serenade you with your first dance song during dinner. These alone will see you through to 2020.

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